This year may we get a clean bill of health from our dentist, our cardiologist, our ophthalmologist, our gastroenterologist, our urologist, our proctologist, our gynecologist, our podiatrist, our psychiatrist, our plumber and the IRS.
May our hair, our teeth, our face lift, our abs, our honey cakes, and our stocks not fall; and may our blood pressure, our triglycerides, our cholesterol, our white blood count, our weight and our motgage interest rates not rise.
May what we see in the mirror delight us, and what others see in us delight them. May someone, as well as God, love us enough to forgive our faults, be blind to our blemishes, and tell the world about our virtues.
May the telemarketers wait until after we finish dinner to call us. May our checkbooks and budgets balance and include generous amounts for charity.
May we remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to our spouse, our child, our parent, our siblings, but not our boss, our secretary, our nurse, our hairdresser or our accountant.
May Jesus come this year, and if He does not, may we live as if He will at any moment, with awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat our our heart.
(A revised version of a revised Jewish prayer found on the internet. Not sure what the honey cakes are referring to- boobs or butt cheeks? but both are falling that's fer sure)